April 13, 2017
I received a call from Dr. O indicating that they needed me to get a testicular ultra sound right away due to something that had come back on the biopsy. LeeAnna and I had been focused on Lymphoma until I received this call. Now we started to research testicular cancer signs, symptoms, and treatments. LeeAnna found a lot of information and also found that testicular cancer can spread into the abdominal lymph nodes causing a retroperitoneal mass. The more we read and researched, the more it seemed like this was it! The testicular pain going up into my abdomen seemed to match the description for testicular cancer.
There was still a lot of questions about this mass and what the biopsy results showed. Was this really testicular cancer, was there a chance it could still be lymphoma, could I have both, what type of testicular cancer was it potentially? We were on a endless merry go round of guessing and trying to pay attention to every symptom. I had a large amount of weight loss, around 60lbs for the year, was getting night sweats, fatigue, lower back pain, and now testicular and lower abdominal pain. There always seemed to be a logical reason for each one; I had been trying to loose weight and had been exercising and made a lot of changes to my diet, I had researched the night sweats and I also had bad acid reflux and research indicated there was a link, I had recently started chiropractic adjustments for the first time and I thought the lower back pain was connected, I had struggled with the fatigue before and every other time I went to the Dr he said I had a vitamin deficiency, stress, anxiety, or depression. The testicular pain was the first of these symptoms that I did not have a logical explanation for.
April 15, 2017
LeeAnna and I got to visit our daughter who is away at college. While there, we got to spend a moment alone and walk around the campus. Something seemed to be bothering her, but I was not sure what it was. After talking, she revealed to me that she had seen the results of my ultrasound, and thought that I had not wanted to discuss what was there. I had seen the results of my ultra sound but nothing really stuck out. The right testicle sounded like it was a potential problem, but there was no identifiable mass found. However, LeeAnna had found something in the ultra sound narrative that I had completely missed.
HISTORY: RIGHT testicular pain. Has retroperitoneal mass with biopsy showing seminoma.
My biopsy result had been referenced in the ultra sound narrative, even though I had not yet received the result from the Dr. It was really shocking to have the news. Even with something so obvious going on in my body, there lingers a shred of hope that somehow there is nothing wrong and it is something minor. No matter how treatable the cancer is…
it is so hard to be able to accept that I have cancer.
We sat on the bench for a while holding each other and sitting with the information. On one hand I felt relieved that I now knew what it was and the guessing could stop, but hearing that you have cancer, no matter what type, is hard to handle. The focus was now turning from “what is this in my body?” to “how is this going to be treated”. We also now knew that one or both testicles were going to have to be removed. We did not know what the course of treatment was going to be for my lymph node mass…
Stay strong!